When you are expecting, there are lots of sayings tossed about. Most people have heard the saying “it takes a village” at some point in their lives, but I certainly discovered the truth of this saying soon after the birth of my daughter.
August 4, 2005, was a great day, the day we met Lily. The pregnancy was uneventful. I had an emergency C-section, but beyond this, the experience was amazing. Our very own village joined in celebrating Lily’s arrival, and everything was wonderful. We had no idea of the challenges just ahead, and nothing could have prepared us for them.
My health seemed to decline as I returned to work a month after Lily was born. I felt out of breath and tired. I had no energy, but I was a brand new mother, so this could be expected. Still, I wasn’t sure, and I visited the doctor. The cause was determined after a bunch of testing. Malignant pleural mesothelioma cancer that invades the lining of the lung, was at the root of my fatigue. It’s caused by asbestos exposure, which I apparently experienced during childhood. Manifesting 30 years later, these symptoms were more than just post-partum fatigue.
Decisions needed to be made quickly in my treatment for mesothelioma. The news was stunning, and if I did nothing, I could expect to live another 15 months. This wasn’t a consideration. We had to fight, and not being able to bear the thought of Lily and my husband alone, I was willing to take extreme measures. We chose the most drastic option possible because of the grim nature of the news. One of the best mesothelioma doctors managed my treatment in Boston. We flew there for a February 2 procedure, an extrapleural pneumonectomy. My left lung was removed, followed by 18 days in the hospital and two more months of recovery. This was followed by chemo and radiation. As a new mom, it was hard to bear this, but I did so for the sake of my husband and my daughter.
Our village was so important during this time. Prayers and support carried us through this storm, with people from a variety of parts of our lives stepping up to help in our time of greatest need.
Some that we thought we could count on fled, of course, and we learned that cancer can have a strange effect on those that are perfectly healthy. Still, we had so much support. My parents cared for Lily while we stayed in Boston, receiving assistance from their own village. Church friends, neighbors, and others helped in watching Lily when my parents needed to be at work. We pored over grainy photocopies of pictures that were sent. My nurses joined in admiring my darling daughter.
Lily learned to eat food and move around while I was away. I hated missing these milestones, but I hated more the idea of her being without a mother. I continued to battle. My parents have a tremendous bond with Lily because of the time they spent.
As a family, we embrace every day. Life is fragile, and it’s rarely easy. That wasn’t promised, though, and we’ve done our best with the challenges we’ve faced. It’s important to embrace everything that life throws at you. Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death. I have no intention of missing out. While cancer caused some terrible challenges, it produced a lot of good. A grim diagnosis produced a great deal of good, in fact, and I’m thankful.
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Heather Von St James is a 43-year-old wife and mother. Upon her diagnosis of mesothelioma, she vowed to be a source of hope for other patients who found themselves with the same diagnosis. Now, over 6 years later, her story has been helping people all over the globe. She continues her advocacy and awareness work by blogging, speaking and sharing her message of hope and healing with others. Check out more of her story at the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance Blog
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