It’s a Sad Day…

I don’t understand why some people have prolonged painful deaths while others die within moments with no warning!

My father in law died this past Thursday and I am having a really tough time with this. He was doing his usual everyday activities, eating breakfast with his wife, working on the computer, the usual.  My mother in law went out to go shopping and within an hour found him dead on his chair in front of the computer. When things like this happen it’s painful and upsetting.  You realize how vulunerable you are to death.  It could happen anytime and without any warning!

I wrote a eulogy for my father in law.  He was a good friend to me and to my family.  We all loved him very much and will miss him dearly.  Here’s what I read at his funeral:

When I first met Mr. Topper, I was 12 years old and I remember thinking that he was the real father on Father Knows Best.  He was caring and concerned about everyone and everything.  I remember one time I said a curse word and Mr. Topper said to me, “take that mouth outside that’s not for inside.”

Stan had style.  He always wore beautiful clothes and had great looking shoes.  He loved electronics and would speak with Brian for hours about speakers and stereo systems and all that stuff.

As the years went by, I got to know Stan and Marilyn more and more and felt that I had a special bond with both of them.  They took me in and treated me like their daughter.

If I was sad about something, I knew Stan would be there to listen and to give me advice.

The thing about Stan that I always admired most was that he was always there to help everyone.  Whenever I needed him to pick up Derek or Zoey from their after school activity, he was always there to do it.  Except that one time when he forgot to get Derek and I got this frantic call from his teacher.  He felt so bad but it all worked out fine!

He helped everyone.  My brother needed his accounting help and he helped him without asking for anything in return.  My parents needed him to help with their taxes one year and again he was gracious about helping out.  And he was always willing to help me with HJMT COMMUNICATIONS, LLC.  He was our accountant of record.

When he walked into my firm, he smiled and talked with everyone.  He was so friendly to everyone.  My staff really enjoyed him coming in.

He loved his family. Family was the most important thing to him.  He supported all of us in whatever we did.  He would go to P town to meet up with Sharon and Zoe, he would come to our temple functions because he knew it was important to us, and he would go to the kids functions at school.  During a recent dinner, I told him that Zoey wanted to go to Boston during fathers day weekend and he was right there planning it all out.

The last time we saw Stan was at a family party last Sunday.  He invited his cousins from Israel, Florida and Woodstock.  We had never met them.  (About two weeks before they came over, he called me on my cell phone to make sure that Brian, me and the kids would be around because it was important to him that we meet these family members.)

The party was great as usual.  Marilyn and Stan put out a full spread of bagels, lox, stugeon and more!  He was so happy that we were there.  Brian and I had a golf appointment that we decided to cancel to stay longer at the party.

Speaking for Brian, Zoey and Derek, we have wonderful memories with Dad. We went to ballgames together, we went out to dinner together and we always had a wonderful time.  Thank you Dad for always being there for all of us. We love you and will all miss you!