My father lived independently for years. He lived with my mother in Kings Point in Tamarac, and they were very happy there. They had a lot of friends, and they were comfortable in their spacious two-bedroom home.
After my mother passed eight years ago, my dad continued to live in his apartment. He immediately found Harriet, with whom he fell in love, and they stayed together for eight years.
While they were together, he started to cook. He was passionate about cooking. As a senior, he found that cooking served as a stress-relieving activity.
Pacifica House at Forest Trace
During the last year of her life, Harriet told my dad it was time to move into an Independent Living facility at Pacifica House at Forest Trace in Lauderhill. She didn’t want to share an apartment with him, so he had an apartment on the first floor, and she had one on the top floor. They could have gone to memory care services for seniors in Roswell, but since they lived in Fort Lauderdale, they stayed closer to where they lived. However, this could have been a good option as well.
For a year, they lived happily there. The only complaint was that the people were cliquey.
Then, one day, Harriet died. My father and his girlfriend were getting up from dinner, and she collapsed and died. There was no warning. It just happened.
As you could imagine, my dad was devastated.
That Weekend
I had a scheduled trip to go to Florida for the weekend. I saw him that weekend after Harriet passed. He was okay. I was nervous leaving him but I had hired an aide and he seemed okay.
A Month Later
After I left Lauderhill, I came back to NY for a few weeks and then went to Jacksonville with my running buddy. We ran a race and while we were in Jacksonville, I got a call that my dad had a bad fall. That’s when I realized I had to move him to Assisted Living. I knew he needed more care.
When I asked him if he wanted to move to NY, he said, “NO!” So there weren’t many options. I wanted it to be easy for him and not a big adjustment. I moved him to the Assisted Living side of Pacifica House at Forest Trace.
The Move…
It was a bigger move than I thought. We had to hire a moving service to bring his furniture from one side to the other side of Forest Trace.
When my dad got out of the hospital, he had trouble walking. He also couldn’t remember anything. I thought this would be a great move for him since he was familiar with the facility, he could still go to activities and the ASL had their own activities. But leaving him was difficult.
Little did I know I wouldn’t be able to come back for a while because of COVID.
Assisted Living
COVID-19 is all anyone was talking about. The facility in which he lived was on lockdown. He was not allowed out of his apartment. I had done away with aides since I didn’t think I needed them for him. Isn’t assisted living supposed to help seniors with daily living skills?
Apparently, they are not!
Aides checked in on him a few times a day but it wasn’t enough. There were 40 people living there who all needed support. With limited staff, they couldn’t be there to work with everyone individually. So, I hired aides again.
I started with 5 hours a day 5 days a week and then I went to 7 days a week. He needed company. He needed help.
At that time, he kept falling. He ended up back in the hospital a few more times until I had a conversation with my brother that we needed to get him out of there and quick!
Sending him to bed…
Since my dad kept falling, Pacifica House at Forest Trace made their aides put my dad to bed. As soon as he would eat, they told him to go to bed. If someone was with him and they left, they sent him back to bed.
He was always in bed. When I questioned this, I was told that this is standard for those who are a fall risk. I just didn’t think it was acceptable.
Sonata Memory Care
We decided to move dad to Sonata Memory Care in Boca. It wasn’t that far from my brother’s home and his mother in law was living in the Assisted Living facility.
I filled out all the paperwork. Hired a mover. We were set.
Then, a curve ball struck me and after Sonata reviewed his 1823 (that’s his discharge papers from the doctor), they rejected him because he was a “fall risk.”
I didn’t know what to do. I was besides myself. Should I bring him up to NY even though he doesn’t want to come here? If I do that, with all the COVID, will that be a death sentence for him?
The thought of having my father’s life in my hands was frightening. Although my brother was my support, I still felt this incredible responsibility. What if I make the wrong decisions? How will this impact his life?
Golden Swan at the Lake
Michael, the director at Sonata Living, gave me the names of several smaller Assisted Living facilities. He told me that the smaller ones may work out better for my dad because they gave more attention.
He sent me a sheet of about 15 different places. My brother and I started to research and found Golden Swan at the Lake, run by Katya Vuscan.
She owned three houses in neighborhoods in and around Boca Raton. One of her new houses had vacancies.
With COVID-19, I was unable to go and check it out so Katya gave me a virtual tour. The home looked lovely. My dad would have his own bedroom and bathroom. He would share the living room, kitchen, outside area, pool, etc. with the others in the house. There were only three other people in addition to two full-time aides. Plus, Katya went there daily to check in on everyone.
The Decision
I had never felt so much responsibility as when we had to move dad out of Forest Trace and into Golden Swan. I hoped it was the right decision.
All of his furniture had to go because Golden Swan already was furnished. I was concerned about him. He had fallen before he went to Golden Swan and ended up back in the hospital. When he got to the facility, he was all black and blue. I never saw him look so bad.
But, thankfully with Katya’s help, he was back on the mend. She had doctors and neurologists see him and evaluate him. He had been complaining of his toe for months and at Pacifica House at Forest Trace, they told me it was just a callous. He complained he couldn’t walk.
With me not being there, I had to listen to the nurses there but when Katya saw him, she had her podiatrist x-ray his foot and found he had a broken toe for months! (After the podiatrist reached out to me for money from an unpaid invoice of $25, I asked for his medical records. I’m still waiting to receive those records.)
Would I recommend a Group Home for Seniors?
I certainly would! They get much better care and attention than in a larger facility. My dad finally seems happy, although he keeps saying to me he is ready to go home.
My only prayer is that his last years are happy and peaceful.
