Did I Just Go On An Airplane?

Airports bring out the worst in people.  No one has patience. Everyone is in a big hurry to get somewhere.  And no one packs right.

I got to the airport early this day. I showed my boarding pass to the security guard and she told me to get another boarding pass at the kiosk because my ticket didn’t have a bar code.

“But I printed this from my printer and checked in already,” I said feeling frustrated.

She pointed her finger and I went to the kiosk.

I printed out the new pass, walked past her again and stood on a long line through security. There were two lines.  On one line, there was a high school cheerleading club in front of me. They were going to a game in Orlando because many of them wore Mickey Mouse ears.

I decided to stand on the other line.

After the security guard checked me in, my next challenge was the conveyor belt.

Every time I am behind someone, they always get pulled over to the side.  On this day, the woman in front of me had a bottle of Nyquil and the woman behind me had a slew of liquid creams.

Don’t people read?  You can’t take liquids with you on the plane!

I walked to the waiting area. The plane was already boarding.

“Can I have the more legroom passengers board the plane first,” the attendant said.  A handful of people ran up to the front of the line.

“Okay, now I would like to start from the back of the plane first,” he said. People scurried up even if they didn’t have a seat in the back.  They got on line anyway. By the time the last few passengers were on the plane there was no overhead luggage room and their bags had to be checked.

I always prefer to sit in the aisle but there are times when none are available and I’m stuck taking a window seat.  When I sat at a window, there was a huge woman sitting next to me.  I felt crushed. She was so big that her flab rolled onto my seat.

I’m not complaining. I understand that the seats are small but did she have to sit on my lap?

The funniest part of the whole plane experience is when the plane lands and gets into the gate and the little bell going off.

As soon as that bell goes off, everyone jumps up – no matter if they were asleep or if they were reading or if they were watching TV – they just jump up.

That’s when people start getting mad. The people in front can’t get their bags out because the people behind them are too close and everyone seems to be pushing and shoving but there is no where to go.

When those doors finally open and the crowd gets moving, no one looks at each other, quickly departs the plane and goes their separate ways as if the experience never happened.

As I was walking to the baggage area, I thought, did I just go on a plane?